does anyone else ever go through their old text messages?
last night while laying in bed i went through what seemed like a thousand pages of old text messages. it was really funny, like reading through one of my old journals or something. and God Bless the iPhone because it saves all past messages, unless you decide to delete them. which i have many a time. too much going on inside that phone!
it was fun to reminisce on the past year. reflect on how much i’ve grown as a person, since this exact time last year.
last year, i was just a worried girl about to start a life in a whole new place. full of doubt, unsure of who i really was, and not even aware that i didn’t know who i was.
as i stand here, a year older, i still don’t completely know who i am, but i see the person i’m becoming. i haven’t even written on here about my completely amazing first half of the summer at Pine Cove (i think that just reflects how horrible i am at keeping up with blogging, because like i said, completely amazing). while at Pine Cove, in good ol’ Tyler, TX, the Lord worked in my life in ways that i never could’ve imagined even just days before arriving at the Ranch. i was hesitant the whole time before leaving. scared that i wouldn’t be able to physically and emotionally stand 7 weeks at camp outside of my comfort zone. no phone. no computer. no comfy bed. “what am i getting myself into?”
one of the texts i read last night was way back in december between me and my dear friend, Jenna-Leigh. i was telling her my concerns and hesitations with going to Pine Cove, saying that i already wasn’t sure if i wanted to go… already worrying about months into the future. she calmly assured me that i was chosen for a reason to work there. and i still thought, what if it was a mistake? the hesitation didn’t quit until i got to camp for the first week of training camp, even crying to my sister and Megan the night before we were supposed to report at camp. i remember packing to leave, Brit and i were supposed to be at Megan’s house in Longview at around 4 to hang out until Sunday. we were still in Aledo at 4 and i was sitting on my bed, playing on the computer. Britt kept coming to see me, already completely packed, and gently asking me when i was going to pack. i just kept sitting there. i thought, maybe if i don’t pack, i won’t have to go. it didn’t work. after many tears, i stuffed my plastic tub with clothes and shoes for 2 months and resentfully threw it into the back of our car.
turns out, i LOVE Pine Cove. and i think many who have worked or camped at PC would have to agree. why do we love Pine Cove? many (myself once included) think that Pine Cove is some kind of cult-ish camp where people dress similarly and do annoying, high-energy cheers. true, though not clarified why. we are jumping up and down constantly for the name of Christ.(NEVER STOP JUMPING!) and why not? it’s been working for Pine Cove for the past some-odd years and until the Lord says stop, i feel sure it’s going to continue to work. i saw countless 6th and 7th graders accept Christ into their lives over the course of 5 weeks at camp. every Friday night we had camper share, a time where campers could stand up among all of their camping peers and outwardly announce an important decision they had made or lesson that had learned during the week. though some a little laughable, it was undeniably amazing the kids that would stand up and profess that they had Christ now living inside of them. everyone would stand up and go crazy, celebrating and rejoicing with them. such a joyous time, not only for us, but i’m sure heaven.
Pine Cove is a place that you grow immensely in your relationship in the Lord. Stretched and tested, flustered and dirty. it doesn’t sound ideal in any sense, but it is the most incredible 7 week experience i’ve ever been through. everyone is pushing toward one constant goal, and that is to let the name of the Lord be known. everything from cleaning dishes for the zillionth time, to acting in ridiculous skits, to jumping constantly up and down during CLUB, to having heartfelt one-on-one’s with campers. it’s for the glory of the incredible, powerful Lord. some say that it is the closest the we will ever be to heaven while on Earth. not because of the waterfall showers or down-feather beds, or as we all know the ever-so-tasty Sysco gourmet meals (i kid, i kid), but because it is the place you become closest to the Lord. everything is about Him. He is incorporated in the morning as we rise, activity classes as we teach kids to lean on the wires of High Ropes like the Lord, lunch as we give Him thanks, and Club as we celebrate Him by dancing. He is acknowledged EVERYWHERE, as He should be.
and you know what? even as i sit here and think about how sticky and nasty i was pulling the ladder over and over on high ropes, and how tiring it got, i absolutely can’t wait to go back.